Full.

Then again, I question myself.

Am I living the life I want, the way I want it? What is it that I want? Can I change anything?

Life is pretty short. Bang you get born then you grow through school and pretty soon you're juggling hormones plus work. Then you juggle stress and roles to handle and you handle old age. Then you're gone forever. Makes me wonder how things work.

It kinda scares me to think that I'm nothing in the future. Not a speck, not a hair, not anything. How do you live life the way you want to? How do you live it to the fullest? What IS the fullest?

How could you just disappear just like that?

For months now I've been asking myself.

KTM

i'll miss the old railway station - it's been part of me since i was born.

it's whr i look forward to CNY each year

whr i got confused as to which immigration line to follow

whr i sat my first exciting 1st class train ride

whr i get to pick the bed i wanted

whr i saw my dad give up his lower bed to an elderly bcuz she cldnt climb up

whr i wld watch the shores of JB approaching and see a giant CANON sign

whr i wld admire the pristine white water pipes

whr a holiday always awaits

whr i anticipate new year goodies and seeing my relatives

whr it brings me to a feeling of home

its kinda like where i grew up and lived life.

Why oh why do they have to tear me down?

Hooked

OH my gawd! I'm so totally hooked on/in love with these sites!

http://www.horganbecket.com/design.php?project=40
http://wkstudio.bigcartel.com/stationery


Been collecting art, room and craft ideas. Why not? Only one live. Time to live it up!

From now!

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.."

-- Mark Twain

Pretty much sums up what I kinda believe in life. Grab those chances, make the best out of them, don't forget to tell/show your family and friends you care. Life is short. Eat well, have fun. Spread a smile, make a joke. Take a leap. Do something different. Believe in love. Trust yourself.

Why not before?

It's so obvious. I have that aim. I aim to visit every treehouse I can in this world. So far I've searched one in China, another in Laos and another in Vancouver already. Woohoo!

March 15th. 8 years ago.

I've grown yeah. Today I went to play the piano and boyyy am I rusty! Shoots. Art day today! My long/short-term goals are:

Travel more!
White water raft!
Trapise down the streets of the unknown.
Enjoy food!
Enjoy company.
Show my feelings.
Put in my all.

Bye Ah Ye. You know I love you.

Where you'll be and where you've been

Where will I be, in future's time?


Will I be the contented grandmother cradling the child in my arms, taking a stroll around the blocks in the park, the lady in powersuit finally gotten used to high heels, having the time of my life travelling through the regions of SEA and Europe, the lady jetting around in my own car (drop those COE prices!), happily ferrying my parents around to where they want, the one being able to go on holidays at a greater whim compared the usual 9-5ers?


Will I be surrounded with friends who keep in contact, my loved ones with me, will I be the average or above average OT? Then again, with respect to all the wonderful, hopeful things that can happen, the entire opposite may also happen.

Ahhhhh I'm getting soooo old. The joys of donning a uniform again, skipping classes, the world of innocence. Brwar. Guess we kinda morphed into the dark and dangerous world. Ohwells. To make the best out of it, to act in conscience.

Weee! Today I spent the longest time ever guy-shopping. Hahhaa. Happiness now is being in contact with my friends, yipppeee!

With what you have..

Its about what you have. I have a Dad currently slogging away at close to 1am when we're due to wake up at 4plus. I have a Mom sleeping peacefully.

Sufficiency. We're really growing up nehs. So much development ever since we last saw each other. Are we becoming different now? The good thing about family is that no matter what, you'll still get together somehow.

2011

In 2010 I probably have had more new experiences than I ever had.

Not everything goes by the norm. You never know how you might end up. Meeting my best people ever since I came back has to be the most awesome thing ever. Amazingly I managed to cram meeting some JC peeps, poly mates, BB CO girls and 4e1! Not forgetting my family and relatives. It's all I need. Being happy with what I have now.

Blessings and strength for the new year please. Thank you!

Just like that lor.

Bye.

Cuz you had the trust but you lost it, sorry and I can't believe what you wanna make me do again. I. Cannot. Believe. It so I cannot believe you anymore. Sickening.

Because my horoscope says so, because I feel so, because I think I have more self-control than that. I love myself, I love my life and that's how it's gonna be.

This is probably the best quality time I'll get with my Sis. OooOoh I think I wanna visit her again when I've graduated. And btw I got my results! Looking good hahah with As and mostly Bs. Chio sia, school in Aussie is almost effortless. Almost. Such is life.

Next time it'll be awesome if I can have sufficient time and money to travel (maybe at least once every two years?), live in a comfy chio house (with stone floors for kitchen and wooden flooring for rest), be surrounded by friends and family and be happy. Awesome. (: I just get so happy dreaming about it. Go, happiness!

Ommmm.

I am currently being bored to death, relying mainly on social interaction through the Internet. Thank goodness I didn't choose to stay over in uni during the hols - the emptiness is getting to me. Human beings are social beings after all. Thank goodness too for the friends I have online. Wahahahhaha. They keep me sane.

ONE MORE DAY!! One more day to new things to do, new food to eat, new people to meet, sights to see and fun with my sistaaaaa! Hang on there. At least tomorrow I'll be going out.

Sian. I'm almost turning 22. Fellow 22-ians, can you even believe that?? I can't believe that. I couldn't believe it when I turned 18, then 20(jump to a '2') den an adult 21. Come on, I'm practically a kid still. Goodness why do we hafta grow up?

Rwarawr to people assuming that there's nobody else in this floor and for taking my chicken kiev and absolutely useful stunning frying pan. Rwarwar! I almost wanted to put up a sign "Someone still lives here please stop taking stuff".

Heard that some e1 people are going for suppa tonight. Ohh man. I'll be back, soon! Before you know it! After you blink! Okay now blink. Haha.

So how should I go about with you? Tell you? Tell you what? Live on what I shouldn't be doing? Coming home is a different thing. I'm stuck.

But without trust, you and I are nothing.

Just a lil' bit from me

I mean

Ahh. What's new?

Are you what I need?

Hols have been gooooot (: One of the best times of my life when I get to live how I want to, enjoy and take in things anew. Travelling for these two weeks have been an intense workout, cuz I'm climbing mountains like once every two days. Steps, inclines, mountains, mud puddles, the sea, rocks, pebbles, you name it, I've got it.

Man I REALLY should have asked for that guy's contact. Araraghghghg. Gawwwd.

The trip has been a test of my thinking as well. As to how to deal with people, to show tolerance, come to a compromise etc. Many a time each of us may wanna do our own thang you know. Plus good food isn't always available, but we did go frugal! I haven't had good music in two weeks omg the best I can come up with is singing to myself or trying to harmonize with my SPY group. Hahhaa.

Each person had his own special song to go along.

This trip was also a test of disconnecting myself with the virtual world. Which also meant lesser communication with those overseas. I think I've become slightly different. Just by talking to friends online I get a very pleasing feeling :D pleasant feeling, pleasing, whatever. It feels like I'm looking at things differently now. An attempt to show more patience? A horizon broadened? Hm.

I learnt lots of new stuff on the trip, about different plants, berries to eat when one is stuck in the wilderness, different types of trees and the best type of weather to see them in, interesting facts about animals (wombats rule by far!), met different people etc.

By today 3 of my floormates have moved out. I miss Nik's toopid antics and good food and Charlie's 'Hey YY how's it going?' greetings. Ohwells. People come and go. At least our paths crossed once.

Frantic packing going now.. but I'm at a good progress. I just have TOO MUCH to bring back to Sg, who knew that I could own so much :D 1 more month! Nothing feels warmer and better than friends who tell me they're waiting to see me again and hang out and do stuff ((: Just about nothing. It tells me that friends are really significant and they stick around.

You know, if you're so busy, don't bother. Obviously I'm not good enough motivation if you can't do something simple yeah.

Y'know

You know, life is good. Gooottttt.

Finished that one exam, on holiday now. It's pretty rather amazing considering that this semester hasn't been that extreme work at all, either that or it's something unique about Singapore education. Tho I agree. It's so much more fast-paced there, we're trained to think fast, act fast, move fast.

Past few days have been non-stop!
Fri - Supper market (which turned out to be only a small crowd)
Sat - Queen Victoria Market + shopping
Sun - Camberwell market (sian rained) + dimsum (I've had better)
Mon - Bendigo school trip
Tues - Bendigo school trip, fell asleep at everything
Wed - Rest day
Thurs - Springvale (asian community) + Chadstone (the LARGEST shopping centre in the whole of Southern Hemisphere!)
Today - Rest + pack
Sat - Brighton beach + bathing boxes!
Sun - Rest??
...
...
Wed - Fly off to Tasmania then Sydney for my TWO week holiday!


Pretty cool huhs. So urgh of me to keep falling asleep during the important stuff and perk up only for the play moments. Sighh. I hope this doesn't translate to work. I shall set my own culture to take a break when I need too, humans can't work 8 hours a day with just a lunch break!

Just before exams (again) I honestly couldn't fall asleep. And plus the heater's down (again) and it's 11 degrees at night. Arggh. Why can't they ever up the heater when we need it?? Last weekend I think I was sleeping at 2:30am for 3 nights, but I got better! Snoozed at 1230am for two nights already. I rock!

Like I said, life is good. I'm lookin' fwd to travelling, tasting Sg life again, celebrating festive seasons, meeting my friends, exploring more of Melbourne, a brand new sem next year, spending money saving money, and keeping in touch. But life can get better. I just really really want them to know I'm there. Like how some are there for me. Always.

My happy gifts to remind myself of them when I'm over. Card from Yiks, pouch and star phone charm frm skee n sm, wooden board deco from Chanchans, super card from Su (just so like her), and of course, my constant happiness reminder of 4E1! (((((((: Q5 is right; I look at the card and it is my strength. I can never ask for any bunch of mates better.

Honestly, going back is almost becoming my top priority now other than sleeping and eating. And studying. Haha! Oh and enjoying myself to the max.

Went for salsa and bachata with Nik on Monday. Woooo hot! It was quite fun, the teacher made it like social dancing so we get to swing ourselves to the next partner. Bachata involves lots of hipswaying which (urgh) I can't master yet and partner's bugging me to practise. Shoots I'll miss next week's lesson! Sigh. Well at least I'll have one more with Nik, he's so fun, he makes me smile most of the time. And it felt so nice to just come home after midnight w/o having to report to anyone. Hahhaha.

Which reminds me. I'm seeking a good, deep belly laugh. If you have the concoction for it, pls contact me. I'm missing it. Cross fingers that I can go for E1 chalet! I really really really wanna!

I need more friends, need to getaway from (ugh) weird ppl in aussie. Trust me no kidding there are just wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiierd people. And nice people like Nik and some of my really sweet friends. Wakkaa.

Now I'm learning songs on piano again. Shiokkk! I just wish the piano was nearer.

Happy Birthday to the people I know! Erwin, Peiyin, Miao, Keng & HB! Sooooo many birthdays, more to come.

Back to studying! Down, fb, down!

Thank You

For not taking her away. For her to find you, to live, to continue as it is worth. For more happy memories to come.

You never know when someone might be feeling down enough, after a buildup, an accumulation. You can never prevent everything, but you can up the alertness and do something.
Maybe it was just a phase, but who knows?

Aw. Happy Birthday Sis(albeit late post).

Reality (& nice people)

Awww!

My housemate is the sweetest ever. Now I know why he's so pops with girls. Hhahaha. I just had a pretty good day!

Came back yesterday from SALSA! Wa lao eh, pretty intimidating lor, we arrived, found a HUGE group of people in the dark mingling and stuff like that and hello, we don't have mingling sessions like that ever in Singapore. So okay, feeling apprehensive about forgetting dance steps and stuff while waiting for class to start.

I think you can tell abit about a man/boy when you dance with him. Some hold your hands too tight, some move their shoulders too much, some don't look at you, some shake hands and introduce themselves. I met this guy who gave me a very weird look everytime we started salsa-ing, narrowing his eyes and pursing his lips. I was like 'WTH???' in my mind but ohwells, smiling politely might just be the way to go here. Super LOL! If I didn't look at him, it mite seem rude. If I did, I'll burst out laughing sooner or later. Creeeeeppy.

But there were also really nice people! Like this Indian guy who came with a Singaporean Indian female. So friendly and nice to talk to. And another person who has been dancing swing for 4-5 years but is trying out salsa. And some who were only on their first lesson but didn't feel like it; they moved so naturally! There was this NZ guy whom I had to guide through a turn-move cuz he was too focused on the instructor to turn correctly. Well another memorable one was this Asian person who didn't look properly and put his hand on my STOMACH (rather than waist) when we were turning. Yeah nice and warm but totally in the wrong place. Another LOL moment. I wonder if Chanchan has such lol-able moments too? Hahhaha. Epic man! I think I shall never forget dance. And being a beginner dancer.

I really like how the instructor makes it funny naturally tho. Like when he's trying to get the guys to follow a step, he goes something like, "Okay guys, when you raise your arms and turn the lady, you don't just look down and oogle and go 'Uh huhhhh'.. you gotta do your basic step at the same time! And DON'T THINK they don't know, the girls KNOW it when you're doing that'. Hilarious! Reminds me of how men are visual by nature.

The funny thing is that while we were waiting for class to begin the weird look guy came up and asked if I wanted to warm up. When we nearly wanted to start the lights came on, so we said well, another time. Thank goodness I didn't. I can't stand anymore weird looks. On a second thought, maybe the darkness would have helped. Hahahhahahahahahahaha. There are just so odd dancers! Makes me wonder how the females are faring too. Are we not looking at them enough? Not swaying enough? LOL.

So anyway! Arrived back home after a shiok bus ride(we always get seats) and got really hungry! As usual. But I didn't have any leftover food to heat up and the only stuff I had to eat was sweet stuff which I didn't fancy then. Brewed some instant soup but that wasn't satisfying enough. Bumped into my housemate who was preparing dinner (at 1130pm) and being such a nice guy and hearing me whine he offered me some of his dinner! It's super good! Chicken-pea-carrot-onions-garammasala-tumeric-corianderpowder-yoghurt-garlic curry and fluffy rice! I must emphasize on the fluffiness of the rice because he used to practically cook porridge aha. Man, that really hit the spot. Living in hostel is gooooood when you have such a sweet housemate who funnily enough, gets nervous when he cooks for someone and says that girls intimidate him. Muhaha! I am SO getting that recipe!

Okay, tonight heading off to Mel's house for potluck, hope it's gonna be good! But first, assignments woohoo!

皮蛋花生瘦肉粥！

OOooOoomph. First time making porridge, unsupervised. I can't wait to go Camberwell market to try the so-heard fabulous dimsum! And go visit second-hand shops again! One thing I definitely will miss in Melb are the unique markets selling anything and everything!

Day out to the Craft Expo (I love craft expos, they're one of the greatest creations on earth!)

A different feeling..

You reckon it's from drinking too much ribena? From listening too much of 'Two is Better than One', Goong songs? From missing my dance lesson? The possibility that might happen? The uncertainty? The sudden surge of emotions? The need as a human being to connect and reconnect? The fear to lose?

I count my losses in life. The possibility of losing more. Perhaps I can't see the gains that clearly, obscured by the impact of the negative. I had me time. Took a walk by the lake to sit, take photos and view the flowing waters. Maybe watch a movie alone.

To put myself in this one big world, I know I need to be where those important are. I'm not extraordinary, I'll seek to meet my needs too. To you, to love and life.