right. write.

When I do readings regarding my future job and what I've been studying for the past 3 years, it sometimes seems like a whole lot to do. Then you get those parts where you read stories and real-life experiences and they somehow, make you believe you can be a little better. After all my clinical experiences in sg and supervisors, colleagues that I've met, it makes me go 'I wanna be that kind of supervisor. I wanna do well in what I'm doing, take pride in it and make it real'.

Studying Occupational Therapy, about it being a mix of Science & Arts, to me, brings about the interest readings of OT all around the world. As with anything and anyone else, even the profession itself is subjected to cultural, societal, economic etc influences. OT here isn't the same as OT there (with me being neither nor there, I don't know where here is). I left half a heart in sg, the other half is exploring, living for myself, interacting with a new environment and having fun!

When I become a therapist, I really really wanna make sure I'm myself; I may change over time according to what I'll experience and my beliefs, but I wanna be as comfortable as I can, knowing that humans have limitations, if we don't know it, it's all right, there's where we get a chance to know more and learn. As someone with years of working experience, that's just the difference between him/her and a new graduate/new person coming to study OT. We're all good in some stuff.

Seeing my friends finally start work (okay so not literally seeeeeing) also makes me hope that however fast-paced or stressful the work environment will be, I'll be able to put my own positive light to it, take things in my stride and be proud of my work. I wanna make that little difference to a client's life. I wanna be able to geninuely feel happiness when someone shows improvement and not go about doing things monotonously saying "Bagus encik!". We need to give encouragement as and when appropriate.

Doing the humongous Model essay in Yr 3 also put us to thinking about our own personal values in a Venn diagram with our encounters and OT. Man, I don't know about others, but that certainly did make me write. Even if we did not realize what we were writing about, reading it now eons after the writing started can be a stepping stone to realizing what we want out of this profession.

I never saw myself choosing this path before. It was just a wandering into the OT booth and Psychology and Sociology having that something 'missing' in the local unis. At that time, I couldn't put my finger to what was that missing thing, I just felt its presence, it was just there. There was just this sixth sense telling me that though I wasn't sure what exactly OT was at that time, I didn't 100% hope/pray/wish I'll get into local unis into those courses.

It's pretty amazing, once you get onto it. It opens up a new world, where people may be more vulnerable than before, where you see emotions you don't usually see. Where you learn and experience those emotions for yourself. Nothing remains unaffected and we're all interdependent. As long as I move, the river your side will flow. I don't know how in the future I and everybody else will turn out to be, that leaves more to wonder.

I like interacting with some people/most people/no people. I think some people are deeper to figure out, but maybe they're not so deep after all. I like life, it gives me opportunities and pleasure, I get to do fun things and enjoy my moments with my favourite people. I know who I love and maybe there are more to come. So why this? Maybe it's just a teeny weeny feeling again, of something incomplete, of something not quite there. Or maybe I just had stuff to talk about, to get off my chest.